一些美国律师的评论
作者：不详 阅读6675次 更新时间：2005-08-25
在美国平常百姓的印象中,律师总是脱不了“狡诈”、“吸血鬼”的形象，可是出了事又不得不跟律师打交道。在这样的北京之下，产生了许多“律师笑话”。
1.Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A: The tick stops draining you and drops off after you’re dead.
问：壁虱和律师有何差别？
答：你死了以后壁虱才会停止吸你的血，掉下来。
2.Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
问：你怎么看得出律师在说谎？
答：他的嘴唇在动的时候。
3.Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
问：鲨鱼为什么不攻击律师？
答：同业的礼貌。
4.Q: What are lawyers good for?
A: They make used car salesmen look good.
问：律师有什么用？
答：让二手车推销员相形之下像是好人。
5.Q: How can you tell there’s an afterlife for lawyers?
A: Because after they die, they lie still.
问：你怎么知道律师死后并非一了百了？
答：因为律师死了以后就躺着不动了。
(lie still是“继续说谎”的双关语)
6.Q: What would happen if you lock a cannibal in a room full
of lawyers?
A: He would starve to death.
问：要是把一个食人族和满屋子律师关在一起会怎么样？
答：食人族会饿死。
7.Q: Why did the lawyer cross the road?
A: To get to the car accident on the other side.
问：律师为什么要过马路？
答：为了赶到街对面的车祸现场插一脚。
8.Q: Why won’t vultures eat dead lawyers?
A: There ate some things that would gag even a vulture.
问：秃鹰为什么不吃死去的律师？
答：有些东西就连秃鹰吃了也会噎着。